No, not a grisly shooting range story. Sorry to disappoint. We lost our third recruit. I didn’t know him, but I guess he drove a pretty nice Mercedes to class and during introductions the first week said that he decided to take a year off work and try out this police thing. Guess he figured if he’s got enough money to drive a fancy car and not work for a year, what does he need to get yelled at for not having his tie bar on straight for? Or maybe it just wasn’t for him. Whatever the case, that’s three of our original 49 that have bitten the dust. I have a feeling we’ll be losing a few more in the next few weeks. Tomorrow begins the first of the physical stuff: shooting and defensive tactics (DT).
So far 90% of everything we’ve done has been in the classroom. Yes, we’ve done a few push-ups, but nothing that anybody should be concerned with (more on that later). We got a little taste of firearms last week, but that was all in classroom about safety and such. We did get to handle some real weapons though, which just about everyone enjoyed. I say just about because I’m not sure recruit Jane was all that jazzed about it. The instructor was having us pass a revolver around the class (unloaded of course) for us to look at and play with, and the second it got to Jane she immediately pass it to me without so much as a once over. The instructor took note and asked her what was the matter.
“I don’t know anything about guns.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to learn. Go ahead, take it back. Play with it a little bit.”
She did and he and recruit Ben, apparently well versed in all things firearms, helped her get a little more comfortable with the gun. Just a little. It’s not unusual to be intimidated by a big shiny revolver, or any other gun, and a healthy respect for their destructive power is essential to not hurting yourself or someone else, but if policing is to be your business you better get pretty comfy with them pretty quick. I don’t know much about guns, hadn’t fired a real one until I was 30 and don’t have my own yet, but I’m not afraid to put my hands on the cold steel. Then again, I’m a guy and she’s a girl. I’ve seen little boys eat their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into the shapes of guns. I think its in our blood.
So, with the beginning of shooting we’ll find out if anybody else has a similar aversion to things that go boom, or maybe it will finally become apparent to them that part of the job of police officer is understanding that you might have to use that thing that goes boom to end someones life and that may not sit right. I wouldn’t fault anyone for that, its better off they figure that out now.
DT will push some of us to our physical limits and may thin the herd further. Or maybe not. Maybe I’m being pessimistic. We’ll see. Either way, I don’t plan on being one of those thinned, so I’m looking forward to working up a sweat and shootin’ up some cardboard.
Speaking of sweating and getting back to the push-ups as promised….
Last Saturday we lined up for formation five minutes earlier than normal. One guy apparently didn’t get the memo so he ran in a couple minutes late. Instead of assigning him a memo the RTO decided we should do 15 push-ups instead. Another guy forgot to shave. Fifteen more push-ups. A third guy who works as a security guard lost his baton at work and somehow word got back to our RTO. Twenty more push-ups. Fifty push-ups all together, two sets of 15, one set of 20. Earlier that morning I was telling a fellow recruit that I really hoped we didn’t have to do any push-ups that morning because I had just done about 45 the night before and my arms were sore.
We drop to do the first 15. We’re supposed to count together, but we don’t get in synch until about number eight. It was pretty bad. One person kept adding “Sir!” after every number almost every time. If no one else is doing that shouldn’t you get a clue? Anyway, at least they weren’t that hard to do. We drop for the next 15. A little tougher, but not much of a problem for me. I could hear the RTOs giving a few a hard time, so somebody must have been struggling. We drop for the last 20. I’m doing fine through 10. At about 12 they start getting really hard. By 16 I’m pushing up as hard as I can and moving about as fast as maple syrup on a cold morning. By 17 I fell like I’m trying to push over the Great Wall of China with all my might. I’m pushing as hard as I can, but nothings moving. I’m in the 1st Squad (front row) so I can’t see what’s going on behind me. All I can see is Tim to my right, who seems to be doing fine, and Jane to my left who is no longer moving. For all I know everyone else is going gangbusters. The RTOs are chewing out a few, so I know I’m not alone, but is that the group I really want to be associated with? Uh, no. I’m convinced I’m one of the few who couldn’t finish.
We finish and stand up at attention. As the RTOs continue to lecture, I can feel my stomach beginning to turn. The combination of breakfast (what it was, too little, or too much I’m not really sure) and the exertion this early in the morning was doing something unwelcomed to my innards. Standing there all I can think of is, please let us go in! It was probably only two minutes, but it felt like 30. Finally the class leader gave to order to march into class. Once we enter the classroom, we’re to stand at attention at our tables until the class leader give the command to sit. He’s always the last one into the room, but for some reason he doesn’t come in for a few minutes. I think the RTOs wanted a word with him or something, but all I can think about is my turning stomach and launching my Special K Red Berry on to the whiteboard across the room. I started to get all the tell-tale signs; clammy palms, a cold sweat on the brow, that tingly feeling in the back of your throat. Just when I was about to make a dash for the door, the class leader finally game in and had us sit. I immediately grabbed my water bottle, downed a couple swigs, and took a lot of deep breaths. After a minute or two the feeling finally passed.
I want to be a standout in my class, but blowing chunks is definitely not the method I want to use to do it. Hopefully I won’t have a repeat performance tomorrow.




